Question

My question is regarding Sila Rehmi.

My father divorced my mother 30 years ago and I was only seventeen at the time. I have two brothers and a sister, they were younger thus I had to bring them up. I had managed to bear all the expenses for their necessities and education. My sister got married and I also had my hand in arranging my brothers’ marriages. Their wives have good relations with me and my wife too. Both me and my wife have tried our best to serve my mother after our marriage and remained at their beck and call. Moreover, instead of spending my money on my family I used it to serve my mother and brothers.

Currently, my mother, brothers and my sister are angry with me and my mother is living in the new house my brothers have got. Many people from our family have tried to help but neither of them are reinstating the terms. They are all hard at hearts, especially my mother and sister, and they tell lies against me and my wife in the society and relatives. Should I tell others that they are the people who are lying or should I remain quiet. I long for my mother’s forgiveness even though I am not at fault here, but she does not agree. And in this distressing situation, what should I do?

I had also remained away from my father on the request of my mother but now I have apologized and am at friendly terms with him.

Answer

assalam o alaykum

I am sorry to hear your plight. From what I learn from your account of the affair you are doing your best to maintain the good relations and have done great sacrifices. May Allah reward you for the good work and pure intentions. We ourselves or our relatives at times get distorted a distorted picture of something, we get influenced by wrong information, we are affected by our emotions which may be baseless and a host of other problems leave us unable to appreciate what is wrong with our behavior and make us see the problems in the other party. This is the text of human life in which we have to succeed. I would suggest keeping the good treatment of the people who have so dearly loved and relentlessly served all your life. Try to clear your situation when it is extremely necessary and your reputation is at stake. It is your right. What you may not do is the track followed by the others you complain about. The most important thing is to continue asking Allah Almighty for help and support. He knows our intentions and is fully aware of our sincerity. Ask him to help you out of the problems and make your relatives realize your true situation.

May Allah reward you and all those who try this level to follow the path of His liking

Answered by: Tariq Mahmood Hashmi

Date: 2014-11-13