Marrying A Monotheist

July 10, 2024

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Question

I am a Muslim female and my prospective fiancé is a non-Muslim (monotheist; Zoroastrian). He has always believed in the Oneness of Allah, the prophets, prophet Muhammad (sws), all the tenets of Islam, took Islamic studies at Yale University, and really respects Islam. In order to marry him my family will only allow it if he converts which would be the traditional way of doing things and my fiancé is very happy to do so, BUT, it will come at a great price. His family has said that they will disown him, cut him off from the community, keep no interaction with him and remove him from their will and inheritance. I know that a man can not be happy without the support and love of his parents and siblings, which is why I am thinking of not asking him to convert given the harsh treatment from his family and the misery it will impose on us as a result. Even though he has agreed to convert, I don’t know if it will be in the interest of our marriage and his sanity. My family can not accept anything otherwise.

In light of the above situation, my question to you is that would it be haram for me to marry him if he didn’t convert to avoid the misery and cruelty from his family? We have already decided that the children if any would be Muslims.

Answer

Converting to a faith is not like becoming a member of a social group where you might like to do it but won’t do it for other reasons.

If you fiancé is convinced about the message of Islam then he needs to become a Muslim no matter what. Losing the support of the family should not be seen as an obstacle here. When people started to accept Islam at the time of the Prophet (sws) many of them were forced out of their family and tribes.

On the other hand, if your fiancé is not convinced about Islam then him converting to Islam has no real meaning. In this case you need to encourage him to do more research on Islam and to think about it seriously.

Islam has not allowed a Muslim woman to marry people of the book because usually in societies men have more influence on their family. Although you say that you have already decided that kids will be raised as Muslims one can never be sure about the future and possible turn of events.

I therefore think it is much better if you work towards one of the above two suggestions, as appropriate.

Answered by: Farhad Shafti

Date: 2015-03-21