Duty To Parents And Family

July 10, 2024

3 min read 3 min

Question

My parents back in Pakistan, after the marriage of my sisters, are on their own now. I live in America with both my wife and a son. Recently, I have decided to move back to Pakistan to better serve my parents. I also wish to raise my family in a country where I have a sense of religious and cultural belonging. All my Pakistani friends are discouraging me to move, but I have been ignoring them so far. Political situation in Pakistan is going from bad to worse. There is fear in the heart and logical reasoning in the mind. I feel that I am risking the lives of both my wife and my son for the duty towards my parents. Sometimes, I think of moving to a modern Islamic country such as Malaysia and bringing my parents there. But I know that my parents, at this stage of their lives, would not be able to assimilate to the norms of a new country and therefore, would mentally suffer. I am a man of justice. Please help me do justice with both my family and my parents simultaneously. Should I move to Pakistan or help my parents move to Malaysia where I could serve them while providing due care to both my wife and son.

Answer

Your predicament is shared by every second family whose children are living abroad. It is quite difficult to give a categorical opinion on this issue because of so many variable and at times uncontrollable factors. Additionally, each person and family is living in different circumstances.

However, the bottom line is the same as what you have felt and understood. Parents in old age need to be repaid even though very partially by giving them time and attention, by serving them and being near them as much as is possible. Their emotional needs must be addressed by the children.

Keeping this principle in mind you need to apply it in the best possible way — ideally the solution should serve the needs of your parents and also those of your wife and kids. But then ideals are not always easy to come by and one may need to make a compromise.

Settling in Pakistan or in Malaysia — are both good options. You should weigh them by judging your overall situation and that of your parents as well as your job prospects.

Answered by: Dr. Shehzad Saleem

Date: 2015-03-07

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Dr Shehzad Saleem (Urdu: شہزاد سلیم ), born in 1966, is an Islamic researcher. He has a Bachelors in Electrical Engineering from UET Lahore, Pakistan and holds a Ph.D. in the History of the Quran from the University of Wales, UK. Dr Shehzad Saleem studied religion under the tutelage of Javed Ahmad Ghamidi. He remained Associate Fellow from 1992-2008 and Fellow from 2008 till date of Al-Mawrid, A Foundation for Islamic Research and Education, Lahore, Pakistan (www.al-mawrid.org). Dr Shehzad Saleem has authored books on Islam, Quran, Hadith and Character Building. He has also translated some works of famous Islamic scholars and exegetes Amin Ahsan Islahi and Javed Ahmad Ghamidi into English.

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