Question

I am engaged with one of my cousins. We are engaged for three years. Her parents do not allow her to talk freely with me since I have been engaged. They say that it is our tradition that engaged couple do not talk and meet freely with each other before their marriage. Her parents and her brothers strictly follow this tradition. I am against this tradition. We love each other and most important thing is that we are engaged. Why not then we talk and meet freely with each other. I want to ask you that what is perception of our religion in this context. Are we allowed to talk and meet freely from Islamic laws point of view?

Answer

Islam has never restricted the believers from entering into meaningful conversation between two unrelated members of opposite sex. It does not make any difference whether they are married, betrothed or not. The only thing one needs to observe is that they must not indulge in useless talk and give Satan an opportunity to spoil their inner purification. A woman may talk to her fiancé, colleagues at work, teachers, students and other people with whom one always needs to deal with in discharging our responsibilities and settle mutual affairs. However, men and women should always remain modest and are not prone to meaningless and inappropriate talk whether on the phone or in person.

As for the question regarding what if one is denied this right, I believe that we should try to observe the traditions in this regard. Islamic Shari’ah gives importance to observing the norms and customs in all social matters. We can in the meanwhile try to convince others that such a couple is not prohibited from entering into meaningful interaction. Going straight against the norms and warring against the elders can cause problems and create unease in the relations. Therefore, I would suggest you to take it lightly and do not insist on talking to your fiancé especially you only want talking to her for the sake of talking.

Answered by: Tariq Mahmood Hashmi

Date: 2015-01-04