I am grossly confused about the status of a wife in our society. As a student of Qur’ān, I can quote a lot from Qur’ān but practically speaking a husband enjoys a sort of innate dignity. A wife cannot therefore be his companion. The material worth of her manual labour is not accepted as a contribution towards added value of the house. When divorced she has to depart empty handed. She cannot therefore be considered as a partner. A husband can divorce her any time without reason. She can at the most resign and that too upon return of the token money she received at the time of her marriage (may be 50 years ago) All these indicators point to only one thing that she is a paid employee, hired by a man for the duration of his life and 4 months thereafter. The only comfort she can feel in times of disappointment is that the Messenger of Allah (sws) has advised husbands to treat her gently. Am I right sir?
Answer
If the wife was considered as paid employee then the Qur’ān would have not introduced husband and wife as garments for each other, 2:187 (a very in-depth symbolic illustration of the relationship between the two that in my opinion is still unbeaten).
Also the life of our Prophet (sws) is the best example of living in the light of the Qur’ān. I encourage you to read about the relationship between the Prophet (sws) and his wives, in particular Khadīja (rta) and ‘Ā’ishah (rta) and to judge whether to you this is a relationship between employer and paid employee or the relationship of a very passionate and loving pair.
As for some of the issues you referred to with regard to women’s right in marriage, I first want to make it clear that most of the directives of Sharī’ah about women and their status in marriage relationship are to fulfil two objectives:
– To maintain and improve the chastity and purity of individuals, the family and society.
– To maintain the structure of the family as a social unit that like any other social unit needs a leadership (a responsibility that is given to the husband for reasons that are beyond the scope of this answer).
It is to fulfil the above objectives that Sharī’ah has introduced rules with regard to both husband and wife in a marriage relationship. Among these rules is the right to divorce.
Another point to consider is that it is not accurate to say that only the husband can divorce his wife. A more accurate sentence is that only the husband has the direct authority to divorce his wife. The wife too can divorce her husband but through the court of law. The reason that only husband has direct authority for divorce is to maintain the status of man as the head of the family (the second objective, as stated above).
Furthermore it is not true that when a wife is divorced she has to depart empty handed. First, the wife is taking what ever Nafaqah (maintenance money) she has received from her husband (which is an obligation for the husband) along with Mahr (dowry) with her. Second, in principle the husband has no right to demand the return of any gifts he has given to the wife. Third, the husband is strongly advised to give the divorced wife financial support till she can settle down in her new situation.
For more details please read the following article that is a translation of Mr. Ghamidi’s writing in Mīzān on the subject of Divorce:
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